Now please note that I’m not saying the reason we should say nice things to people is so we personally feel better, but I am saying that it is OK to feel good after we do the right thing. If you put positive energy into the world, why shouldn’t you get a little in return? So maybe next time you’re having a bad day, rather than playing the “woh is me” game, or walking around like “Debbie Downer”, “Huffie Harold”, or “Blasé Brandi”, take a second and say something nice to someone. Take the risk, put yourself out there, spread a quick positive message, and let me know how quickly your mood changed after you did it! If you try it and it’s met with apathy or rudeness, don’t pay that person any mind… you did the right thing and that’s all that matters. You can’t help where other people are in their heads, so in the words of Jay-Z, “Go ‘head brush ya shoulders off” and move on!

If you’ve ever tried this, I would love to hear about it! Please share you stories and thoughts below! Also, please check out this link to learn more about Improv Everywhere and the “Say Something Nice” mission!

A lot of colleges and universities have Medical Amnesty/Good Samaritan Policies in place but it is unique for it to become a state-wide venture. As you can see in the article there are very states who have instituted such policies (you can now also add Pennsylvania to the list, too). I love the idea because I believe in the power of helping you fellow man/woman. College students are not the only population abusing alcohol and other drugs, it’s a nation-wide epidemic.

I am a firm believer in the shock value of calling for medical attention for your friend who is in rough shape. Sometimes it takes a serious incident to slap someone in the face and make them realize that they need help. We as friends are too often afraid of “ruining a friendship” or “having someone hate you” and we let those impulses get in the way of the bigger issue – there is a life at stake. Or, sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes we feel the need to be heroes and take care of our friends ourselves, but where is the learning in that? I have have been guilty of both of these actions (being scared and the hero) a few times in the past, and every time I did it I always felt stupid AND grateful after. Stupid because I know that my friend could have died, and grateful that he/she didn’t. But why put that stress on yourself? Call for help. I have NEVER lost a friendship over calling for help, instead the roles are usually flipped: my friend is now the one who feels stupid and grateful. Stupid/embarrassed that they did that to themselves and their friends, and grateful to have people that care about them that much. That is when learning occurs; behaviors will not change if the person does not first see the need to change the behavior.

Rather than re-create the wheel and write a completely redundant post though, I strongly encourage you to read Erica’s blog post . And, if your school does not have a similar policy you should do something about it! Go to this link to learn more about how you can get a policy like this created at your institution.

Does your campus have a Medical Amnesty policy? If so how do you think it’s working? Are students taking advantage of it in positive ways?

First, I love the Steve Nash quote at the end of the article. In regards to Welts coming out to the world, Nash said, “Anyone who’s not ready for this needs to catch up,” Mr. Nash said later. “He’s doing anyone who’s not ready for this a favor.” CAN I GET AN AMEN IN THIS PLACE?! If you think homosexuality is nothing more than a train full of confused sinners heading straight for Beelzebub, then you’re on the same train just looking out the other window. It is time to wake up and smell science friends! I’m not interested in entering a religion vs. Lady Gaga (Born this way – for those of you who haven’t turned on a radio in the last 6 months) debate about what being gay means, where it “comes from,” or any of that. I have already had a mini-rant on this matter in a previous blog post. The fact of the matter is people need to do exactly as Nash said, “catch up”!

Second, with a slightly different tone, to Welts his personal life and his personal life had to remain completely separate in order to stay safe. We are all part of various communities: schools, residence halls, organizations, improv teams, service teams, church groups, etc. The number one reason a person chooses to affiliate themselves with a community is because they feel safe there. And in a perfect world that is a place where they can exist, share opinions, feel accepted, and not have to worry about the color of their skin, who they associate with, and what they believe. There are many colleges a universities that try to make they campuses safer for the LGBT community by hosting ally training programs traditionally called “Safe Zone.” I personally went through the training at Clemson University. If you are interested in learning more about Safe Zone programs, which schools have ally trainings, and how to bring it to your school please click on this link! Does your school already have an Ally training program? If you can, tell us about it and put a link to it in the comments section so other people can use it as a resource!

Note: I apologize for lying to you at the beginning of this post… that 2nd paragraph was a slight tirade

A few months ago I went shopping in my hometown with one of my best friends and his wife. At the time his wife was about 6 months pregnant and they had decided that they did not want to know the little wonder’s gender. They were shopping in our hometown because they wanted to support local businesses and create a more unique nursery for their child (such a great idea for both reasons!). The experience was fascinating to be a part of. Every item they picked up, from the diaper-bag-hooks to the the cute/cheesy calligraphy quotes, were scrutinized. “I think this is too girly.” “No, this one is too masculine, look at all the blues and the darker tones.” “This one is definitely for boys.” Now I have known my best friend for a very long time and we have shared some of the deepest conversations I’ve ever had, but this was an eye-opening moment for me.

I do not blame him for subconsciously conforming to gender norms though. It’s not his fault. I was guilty of it too. Anything they would pick up I could tell you which gender it was intended for. That is just how we are programmed. Girls should like pink and purple, boys should like blue. That cartoon giraffe has long eye-lashes, it’s feminine. The blue fish is playing baseball with a clam for a ball and a seahorse for a bat, it’s masculine. So I was not upset with my friend, his wife, or even myself. I was, as I said earlier, fascinated. To have such a blatant heteronormative moment take place in front of me was so telling watch. I however recognized what was going on they, sadly, did not. When asked my opinion about the gender specificity on various items I would say something like, “I don’t think it really matters, your child will be fine, so if you like it then you should get it.”

If some of the first things children see and begin to contemplate are geared to their specific gender norm, how will we ever break this cycle? Girls will always begin to assume that they need to be pretty and delicate. Boys will feel the need to be athletic and strong. Hey, I have a couple BLATANTLY SARCASTIC AND NOT SERIOUS ideas: What would actually happen if a boy grew up with some purple in his room? Maybe we should try it and prove that we can turn boys sensitive from the start! What if a girl had a football to play with from day 15 of her life? Maybe we could create a whole population of women who high-5 each other after burping! All joking aside though, that is where these ideologies start. But what are people so afraid of? Are they afraid that putting the drawing of a “pink-sparkly pony running through a big field with a sun wielding a smiley face in the corner” up in their newborn son’s room will turn him into a sap? Or are they just afraid of what others will say when they stop by to see the baby? Is it about the parents wanting to enforce gender norms at an early age, or is it just easier so you don’t have to explain to others, or is it all completely subconscious?

The answer to those questions varies based on many factors: culture, upbringing, personal belief, level of absent mindedness, etc. Each of which could be its own blog post so I will not pick apart them here. I’ve asked other friends who are thinking of reproducing whether they would find out the gender or not. Most of them said they would find out the gender because you can buy everything in advance. Friends, there is no difference between a baby boy’s onesies and a baby gir’ls onesies… other than color and potentially the imprinted design. So what they are really saying is… I want to know what color scheme I should to decorate with, and what types of patterns I should buy to let my child and my visitors know the gender of that nursery’s occupant. Click here for a fun link to prove that point (click around in the collections to see what I’m talking about).

Please note: I am not claiming to be completely void of gender biases, I don’t think you really can be. It’s more a matter of owning those biases and being educated about what they mean and why they are present. That’s way more potent then merely not having biases at all. I also don’t want to seem “bigger” than any of my friends, because I am not. I know that whenever I am fortunate enough to convince a woman to copulate, and we produce what is sure to be the funniest baby of all time, that I will struggle to go against gender norms…but do I have to? I certainly don’t want to end up on the wrong side of a 10-year-old girl ranting on the internet!

There is a ton of research on this topic but I’m curious to hear what you think! Is creating a gender-specific themed room important when raising a child? Would you want to find out the gender of your child before she or he is born? Why or Why not? Any additional thoughts?

Let’s make sure this is out there 1st: I am a naturally faster walker. I like to walk with a purpose and take long strides… let’s call that swagger, shall we? I think we shall! Sometimes I envision people who I am passing saying, “Oh that boy is working it right now, go ‘head witcha bad self!” I enjoy walking fast. It makes me think less about my knees that I have neglected my whole life and now throb when I climb stairs. It makes me feel like I’m getting a small workout in, which I need because I just ate a huge lunch and am not going to go to the gym until Lady Gaga stops crying at every concert she puts on. It makes me feel like a New Yorker: I know where I’m going, I play the lights when crossing streets, everyone else around me are a bunch of tourists!

See, but what people don’t know is that I am actually rushing to a meeting at 4:00pm on 43rd street that I left my place on 60th st for at 3:45pm. All because I know I can swallow up a city block in about 45 seconds, so according to those calculations I’ll actually be there a couple minutes early! I’m that guy that you see walking IN the street because people on the sidewalk are walking so slow that I would rather put my life at the mercy of New York City cab drivers than potentially get stuck behind a sporadically stopping stranger.

“Sidewalk rage” they call it and, though I’ve never been tested, I have it on a certain level. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not yelling at people, pushing children over, and showing them my favorite finger, but I do roll my eyes, get antsy, and utter the occasional, “Really?”. What I realize though is it’s not really my fellow pedestrians that I am upset with, it’s myself. The German with the camera did nothing wrong, but due to my piss-poor planning he gets to have my self-frustrations projected onto him. Other people are easy targets. The concept of shirking blame onto others is not a revolutionary one, but it is an important thought to remind ourselves about. And reading this article did that for me, a little.

Now I’ll be honest, the message that I should have taken away from all of this “sidewalk rage” talk is probably: manage your time better, leave earlier, and look in the mirror before huffing at someone. That is starting to sink in. But I’ll be honest, the thrill of timing a walk like that perfectly and getting to maximize my time on both ends is too invigorating for me. Now I walk the same pace, and I just give my fellow bipeds the benefit of the doubt and don’t allow myself to get frustrated at others who had nothing do with the predicament I put myself in, they’re just seeing The Naked Cowboy for the 1st time…and that’s OK.

I see this a lot in the students and professionals that I work with. The campus I currently work is what I would call a “vertical campus”. It’s crammed into one city block so the only place to build is up. This equates to a lot of “elevator rage” among our campus population. (“Elevator rage” is a remarkably similar concept to “sidewalk rage” and road-rage, hence why I came up with such an incredibly clever title for it.) The poor elevators, facilities departments, and students just trying to enjoy their days, take the brunt of the frustration. But, what can be done about it? I suppose we could all use a mandated nap-time or meditation session, but administrations have larger fish to fry and the idea of elongating the work day to potentially make it more pleasant is not going to fly. Maybe we could put sticky tape down, or pedestrian speed bumps, or have campus security teams ride around on Segways and write out mandatory smile time-outs for people who run around with stank-faces! Whatever the answer is I’m sure it starts with self-awareness. Which may start from reading a random article on the article on the internet. But who would fall for that, right? Oh wait…I did…crap.

Now I fully recognize that this exercise is not mind-blowing but it’s the reasons he had us do it that got me thinking. Improvisational comedy is a team sport. However, in improv, since you are making everything up as you go along, it is very easy to get caught up in your own ideas and what direction you feel the scene should go. In doing this one completely misses the gifts your scene partner is giving you. You miss the opportunity to create a world together that you can both play in and experience together. On top of that, the scenes that we create have depth to them far beyond the 2-8 improvisers on an empty stage. They take place in a world that has ambient noise, passersby, doors closing, etc. When these elements are added to scene, the audience gets painted a picture, removed from their chair and transplanted into a new place and time. Listening is the key to strong teamwork.

In this video Bobby McFarren proves just that. Only a certain portion of his audience knows the Ave Maria, but by getting out of their own heads and listening to those around them, the whole audience is able to sing the song, even with harmonies! Imagine implementing this idea into your organization’s next meeting. Rather than people jockeying for position and getting their ideas heard, the whole team would work together incorporating ideas and strategies from everyone. Now I will be the first to own that every idea is NOT a good one given the time and place that it is shared, but even the “great idea, but I don’t think that’s what we are looking for right now,” portion of the conversation flows more smoothly because everyone in the room knows that what they are saying is being taken in, processed, and then replied to.

This is especially valuable when you have very new members (who are shouting out what they feel are brand new ideas) working alongside more experienced members (who have already tried to implement those same ideas and been shot down). Older members maybe more jaded and less apt to listen to new members, but this is where taking the time out as an established role model on campus is key. Listen to the ideas, even if you have heard them before, think about them, and then reply with something more respectful than “we tried that last year, they wouldn’t let us do it”. Learning how to shoot an idea down while gaining respect is an art, but the payoff will be huge when your retention is higher and members are more eager to take the organization to the next level.

Oh HELL no!

I admire the courage it took for these individuals to come out to a world that sadly still has not exactly made up its mind about the LGBT population. It is this kind of authenticity that we need if we are ever going to move forward. Please note: by moving forward I do not just mean that members of the LGBT population merely be “accepted”. That is a condescending notion in my eyes, why can’t people just be? There is no test anyone should have to pass to prove their worthy to be themselves wherever they go.

(Thank you to my friend Holly Hughes for sharing this with me.)

Your brain on improv: Charles Limb on TED.com